Anniversary Week

2.5
It was one year ago today that my mom was on one side of the hospital a couple floors up from my dad who was on the other end of the hospital awaiting transport back to the nursing home where he'd die two days later. She was getting a biopsy on her lung to determine if she had lung cancer. Well, we all know how that story ends. She has another chemo treatment next week that had to be rescheduled due to snow. Little did I know my life would be entirely different in one year.

2.7
So today hasn't exactly gone as planned. I had planned on getting up, getting some inspiration and working on getting some writing done. So far all I've managed to do is get high type a few words a couple hundred time and watch six episodes of "The Magicians," wash two loads of laundry, wash two loads of dishes. While it's not what I wanted I don't regret it.

2 9
Yesterday was quite a bit of fun. My wife and I took my mom to a local craft show. We were there for a good 4 hours or so and then we went to eat afterward. I think we were probably out later than we ever have. She ended up leaving our house around 9 and she usually wants to be gone before dark. She let me know that she really had a lot of fun. We really did enjoy our time there. I got me to thinking about a lot of things. I really miss my dad. Even though be was frustrating and infuriating at times. I know he loved me, I know he wouldn't want me hurting like this but I'm not left wiht many options that don't end up in me being a sociopath. For the past two months I've recounted where we were at in the process of the disaster that was my life for a year and half. Today is the day that I found out my uncle had a heart attack. In the next four days I'll have not only finalized my mothers will, had my dad cremated, spoke at my dad's funeral, and ended up taking our dog to the vet because her heartworm medicine and it almost killed her. She spent the next three days on dialysis getting the medicine out of her system so it'll hopefully not scar her bran more than it already had.

On the plus side, I've started working on my btrilogy. I'm  starting with moving some things around. Rather than starting with Bag of Malice I'm going to begin the series with "Heart of Malice" and I'm working on getting the character and stories outlined so I have more of a roadmap to get where I want to go with it rather than winging it and hoping for the best. Also, I've decided that rather than  forcing myself to stick with traditional publishing I'm just going to self publish and continue to go that route and see what happens. I'm going to pour myself in work like I used to and maybe, just maybe, I'll get something done.

Until next time. .

2020 Vision

Goal list for 2020:

1. Fully outline and draft "Bag of Malice"
2. Fully outline "Heart of Malice"
3. Fully outline "Abyss"
4. Fully outline "TBD Leadership book"
5. Drop at least 50 lbs
6. Lower my cholesterol to a relatively safe level if not a totally safe level
7. Purchase and pay off our house
8. Sell the current house
9. Ramp up our retirement fund from 5% to 10% (maybe higher if doable)

Now it's a matter of figuring out how exactly I'm going to accomplish all of it. What I do know is that I have 334 days, 48 weeks, 11 months.

I've downloaded and started using Scrivner to help organize my thoughts and writing into something that actually makes sense.

My wife and I have started making better choices with our food and eating out significantly less than we used to and we're cooking more regularly.

Now I know what my endgame is, I just need to make an individual plan for each of these to ensure I'm staying on track with my goals. 

Now let's make this shit happen!