Value(able) Family: A Love Story

     What is a family? Is family the people we grow up with, go to reunions with, spent childhood holidays with 2 maybe 3 times a year? Is it limited to blood relatives, second and third cousins on your dad's side and aunt and uncles on your mom's side? Or is it more than that? I agree that the people we are related to CAN be considered family, but can also be excluded from it as well. In my opinion, I believe family is not limited to blood. Family encompasses all of those people whose company you enjoy and those who you hold dear in your heart.

     Growing up I was taught that “family” was those that you were related to, you didn't have a choice in this matter. Aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins alike. I didn't see things that way. In fact, the only people I truly considered family were my parents, my cousins Chris and Jamie and the few amazing friends I had. All others, truthfully, couldn't have been further from family. From where I stood the feeling was mutual and it really bothered me for a while, but I got over it and accepted it for what it was. The people I had in my life and genuinely loved, those people were my family, and I was fine with that. Its those people that will stay up with you when you are so depressed and so drunk you can't see straight but you know you are going to make it through the night because they are there with you. Those that will beat your ass before you set your uncle's field on fire one second and the next be crying on the porch because he felt so bad. Its those people that would do anything and everything in their power to make sure everything ends up ok and the way it should. Love, that it what makes a family, a family. It's that love that binds us together so that anything may be possible.

     It doesn't matter who they are, how they came into your life, or how far away they are, it is all trivial, the only thing that does matter is the fact that you would do anything you could to help them in their time of need, and they would do the same for you... all at the drop of a hat. In the past few years my family has grown more than I ever thought imaginable with “new” family and friends. I have truly been blessed with many amazing people in my life and can't help but to cherish them in all the ways that make them great. I can honestly say that without the family I had growing up, I wouldn't be here today. My childhood was nowhere near as bad as some, but when you're a teenager everything is life changing and every tragedy that happens is a nuclear holocaust. Then you grow up and realize it wasn't that bad and you learn to be thankful for the people in your life that love you, and I can't help but be eternally thankful for my family.

Used and Abused: A Welfare Tragedy

     This something that has irked me for quite some time. I have seen it firsthand and hear people brag about it like it is some badge of honor. I am speaking of the blatant abuse state and government assistance programs, more specifically the welfare system. My understanding of this system is if you have dependents and make below a certain annual amount you can qualify for food stamps, not to be confused with WIC, which is primarily geared toward low-income women with small children.

     Before I begin with my rant I need to clarify a few things first. Do not misunderstand my words, I am all for state and government assistance programs helping people who genuinely need the help. I simply feel like they would work better with certain provisions being made to their application and continuance policies. This post is in no way racial in nature it is about ALL of the gutter scum pieces of trash who do everything they can to take advantage of the system in order to sit on their asses (or lay on their backs in some cases) and leech off money they didn't earn.

     These programs are in place for people who have fallen on hard times and unable to buy food for their families. It is NOT for the hood rats that decide it's easier to have kids they don't raise properly than to actually get up and go to work like the rest of us. NO, its easier to have US go to work, pay taxes, struggle to pay OUR bills, and have the state take our tax money to give them $800 worth of food stamps. All this so they can either send their kids to the store for soda and munchies or sell the food stamps to someone who would actually buy groceries with it and spend that extra money on their drug addiction. Too many times I've been grocery shopping adding everything up perfectly so I'd be able to buy the things I need and not have to put anything back because I couldn't afford it and look at the cart in front me and see Bebe and her 9 kids with 3 carts full of candy, soda, chips, snacks, and a whole variety of junk food, not to mention the 2 cases of beer below. Everything gets scanned and she'll whip out her Access card (Modern food stamps so they won't get embarrassed) to pay for the food, but pay for the beer and cigarettes with cash. SERIOUSLY?? Our tax money at work, it's a wonderful thing isn't it, contributing to Bebe's kids obesity problem because she doesn't care enough about them to feed them properly. Or an even better example, going into the gas station to pay for fuel and standing in line behind 2 guys who are obviously stoned off their asses carrying 2 12-packs of Mountain Dew and a variety of chips and candy. The cashier rings everything up and he pulls out his nifty little state issued Access card. Feels so good to pay for munchies, I bet he sold some of his food stamps to buy the weed he just smoked.

     Florida recently passed a law requiring anyone who is to receive state assistance benefits must pass a drug test before receiving those benefits. GO FLORIDA!! This is something I've been saying for years. It may be costly at first but once the state doesn't have to shell out that $800 to crack addicted Bebe that just paid for several drug tests, and that is just 1 case. In my opinion the drug tests should be completely random and once a person pees hot, DONE. They are not eligible to receive benefits for 6 months and must attend a support group for the entire 6 months before being eligible to receive those benefits again. Oh yea, 3 strikes, you are out for 2 years, no exceptions. Should have stayed clean, time to get a job buddy.

     Which brings me to my next point, if you are unemployed and receiving state benefits you are required to do one of two things, either turn in 3 job applications each week (which will be followed up on) or community service 40 hours a week. If you want the money bad enough, the community needs your help equally as bad.

     My next point will be a little more difficult to implement but equally as effective. Company's like CVS have card that can track purchases on particular products so that one customer can not get more than a few of one particular deal. I propose the same be done with the Access cards but only to limit the amount of soda and junk food can be purchased in a one month period. For example, 2 cases of soda, 4 bags of chips, 2 boxes of cookies, and so on, the rest of the money, however, should be limited to only healthy food and basic necessities such as milk, bread, cheese and so on. By healthy food I mean raw meat, fruits, and vegetables. Remember these are on state assistance because they can not afford to purchase food on their own so do you really want them to be eating like shit the whole time? Also, by doing this it would help with the obesity epidemic in America.

Oh yea, if you don't like the these changes, too damn bad, get a job and learn what an honest day's work is.

Free Will: The Ace Up Your Sleeve

     A close friend of mine recently confided in me that she recently had an epiphany. Her epiphany was that she was getting older, because it was her birthday, but she wasn't happy. Everything was not fine with her life. “Today is the day that all my happiness fades” was what was spoken. No details were given as to what the actual problem was.

     I got to thinking about this. Is there no way that one can prevent fading happiness? Whether it be feeling like you are living day to day just going through the motions and routines only to end up where you started when you wake, or finding joy in nothing you do, there will always be an ace up your sleeve whether you know it or not. “The journey of 1000 miles starts with one step” is an old Chinese proverb that has been adapted to fit whatever culture or scenario that may be applicable, but holds true in every situation.

     When life has become nothing more than a stagnant puddle of routine all that needs to happen is change. Free will is the ace up your sleeve that most people take for granted. The fact that you are free to do as you like (within limits of course) and change everything. You can choose to change your outlook, routine, or mindset. There is nothing that is beyond your imagination. Once you get the ball rolling all you have to do is keep the momentum until you reach your destination.

     For example, a person who is overweight will never change unless they change their routine of fast food and keeping the couch from floating off. They've got to change what they eat, how much they eat, and instead of holding the couch down, trying beating the pavement into the soil, or making sure your bicycle is getting its exercise. Once the ball is rolling and that spare tire is shrinking, that becomes your new routine because there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is a beacon of determination.

     The first thing is you've got to figure out why you aren't happy. Whether its weight issues, family issues, work issues, social issues (or a lack of), or financial issues, the problem needs to be pinpointed. Once it is narrowed down you need to figure out the origin of the problem and how it progressed. If you figure out how it started you can do two things, prevent it from happening again and it may give a clue on how to undo it. After that all that is left is figuring out a feasible solution and implementing it. It is very simple, if there is more than one issue work on them one at a time starting with the biggest.

Nice Guys Finish Last

     There is an old adage “Nice guys finish last.” Typically, it only applies when getting women, sometimes it does but overall it doesn't, However, in just about every other aspect of life it does. From a young age we (and by we I mean most of my age group, ok maybe just a portion of my age group) were taught proper morals and values; i.e. Always respect ladies and your elders, hard work brings success, be honest, loyal, trustworthy and dependable, be humble, value your job and take pride in it, open doors for others, greet everyone with a smile, always repay your debts, be courteous... and lets not forget the golden rule that was pounded into our skulls and tattooed on our conscious: Always treat others as you would have them treat you!

      I recently read a story where a study was done and found that disagreeable workers (I prefer to call them assholes), make more money than nice people. Rude men make about $10,000 more a year where rude females make, on average about $2,000 more. How does that make any sense?

     Let's just say you are the epitome of niceness and go about your day smiling at people, holding the door open at the 7-11, stopping at a busy intersection to let someone out, bringing coffee and doughnuts for the office, taking on extra work to ease a co-worker's burden, loaning the warehouse guy $20 until payday so that he can buy his kid some diapers (or you can feel free to insert any sob story you prefer), working late to make sure all of you, and your co-workers work get done, and going home to a room mate, who is also your best friend, that comes up with seemingly endless variety of excuses as to why he doesn't have the rent, but seems to have money to buy gadgets and toys. But you accept this out of the KINDNESS of your heart.

Let's just break this down, assholes make more, 95% of the people are NOT going to return that smile, rather look at your as if you are high, close the door in your face at the store, speeding up or getting on the car's bumper in front of them so you can not get through, NOT spend any of their money on coffee and breakfast for the office, odds are your loan will get repaid with the same endless variety of excuses your room mate gives you, no one would willingly take on your extra work, and you get to live your life getting stepped over, taken advantage of, and generally bent over and ramrodded as if Ron Jeremy was behind you.

     So where's the pay off? If you are nice and live a good life you get to have a clear conscious that you did all you could to help others? Maybe this sounds selfish, but what about me? Where is the joy in this selfless and, for the most part, thankless existence? I get a clear conscious that what I am doing is the right thing. If that nagging little bastard didn't exist then I could spend my money on an endless array of new toys and gadgets, just as long as I paid my rent and electric. I could bleed the welfare system dry as I sit on my ass, get high/drunk and play Xbox all day while my baby mama's take care of our kids. Hell I could do whatever I wanted. BUT my parents didn't raise me to be an irresponsible disrespectful ghetto piece of trash like what lives next to me. Thanks mom and dad, life could have been so much easier for me, but I'm glad you taught me what you did, I am a better person for it.

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2011/08/15/study-rude-employees-out-earn-their-nicer-colleagues/